how can u be prego again
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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