I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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