We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
