one might say we're banned from that church
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
