i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
