My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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