i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
