Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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