hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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