i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
