went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
