Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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