I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
