I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
