he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
