Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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