its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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