i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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