just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
