You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
