Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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