You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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