I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
