I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
third nipple confirmed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize