ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
