i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
