How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
