Christians are straight up FREAKS
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
