I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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