I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
