PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
