I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
