you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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