would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize