Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
