i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
