Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
