...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
