he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
