I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
