I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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