Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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