big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
