Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
