Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
