I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The beer is more important than you right now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
