Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
