but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
