i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's blow job season.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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