you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
