Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I will pee on everything he values.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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