weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
