hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
