Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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