then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
