Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
