Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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