I think my vagina is haunted
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize