You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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