I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
