Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
