just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
