Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
