Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
