But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
