She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
