Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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