If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
