dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dicks are not precious.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
