hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
