i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
